Nowadays I've been working most days every week, 3 of which are 4:30am to at least 5:40pm, sometimes later. Cleaning, babysitting, school, some births.. That's what my life has been these days.
What's nice is I'm usually free to do what I want on the weekends. This allows me to go around and visit whom I will. So far I've been to North Carolina, Ohio, many places in Virginia, Florida, and Pennsylvania. And I'm looking forward to going to Kentucky next month for a friends wedding!
Oh the joys of single life!!
And now my random thoughts:
I was musing the today on what I was originally taught about "Beautiful Girlhood"- and what my life looks like now. I have been judged, and often, for the fact that I no longer live at home "until I'm married". From the time I was 17 or so I've always known I would move out before that blessed event. I didn't know it would be at the age of 20- and several states away at that. However, it worked out that I would go to PA for midwifery school, and mom and dad gave their blessing. So- off I went.
Now, don't get me wrong- "Beautiful Girlhood" is NOT a bad thing. However, I feel like girls my age are often put in a box. They are frowned upon if they move out, take college courses, or do something beyond living at home and being a happy homely homemaker to be. While we are on this subject, I have a confession to make:
I hate cooking. That's not saying I can't cook- I just don't. (Anyone who knows my mom knows I learned how to cook, I just didn't catch the enjoyment behind it.)
I'd also rather kill and clean the chicken than figure out how to cook it. I'd rather plant the garden, weed it, sweat and broil outside than actually cook, clean, freeze, and otherwise prepare the fruits thereof.
I'm also not extremely sweet and demure. I'm pretty loud, I enjoy fun things, taking chances, meeting people. I love to wear bright skirts and colors. Put feathers in my hair. Dance about in the rain. And otherwise make a spectacle of myself. Definitely not in the mold.
What does this have to do with my previous topic, you say?
I lived under the impression for years that I was a hopeless mess of a girl. Who completely missed the vision of Beautiful Girlhood/womanhood. Recently I've discovered this is not the case.
While being a lovely homemaker taking care of siblings, writing letters to friends in need, etc is NOT by ANY means a bad thing… that Is. Not. Me.
No wonder I felt like a hopeless mess! I was living inside the box of what I'm" supposed" (in mans opinion) to be-when it is not who I was created to be!
Since this realization I've almost reached the point of not caring what others think about what I do, where I live, and how I act.
I will continue chasing after Biblical Beautiful Womanhood- but the womanhood I am supposed to have, not what others think I should have!
So, ladies and gentleman, please keep in mind- that just because a girl no longer lives at home doesn't mean she is living out from under her parents authority. That she has lost her vision, and her beliefs. In fact, in my case, it is quite the contrary. I feel that my relationship with Jesus is stronger than ever. I've had to rely on Him many many times. Those times where I thought I couldn't take another step forward. Like I was all alone, and there was no other options. He has taught me to Trust, have Faith, and Love Unconditionally. Those 3 things alone I cannot do in my own strength.
Now, I wouldn't recommend moving out as a single girl. I'm supporting myself, in all ways (except for when I go to friends houses and mooch! haha.) Anyway- It's NOT easy AT ALL- however, it's not the taboo bad thing like it's chalked up to be in the majority of Conservative Christian circles. Especially when done with Parental approval and blessing and for a purpose beyond just "moving out because I hate being told what to do". (Which, I might add, is NOT a very good attitude for anyone. Much less one that thinks they are ready for the world. A boss is usually ALOT less lenient than a parent. I am, more quickly every day, discovering just how much I don't know.) As a little point: if you move out, be sure to join a church, or stay in your church. Keep under someones authority, have some accountability. It's very important :) I'm not advocating girls moving out- especially without their parents permission- however, friends, family, and other people- don't frown upon us girls who have moved out! Not all of us have siblings at home to watch, a family business to help run...etc.... I guess, bottom line is- don't put beautiful girlhood, or beautiful womanhood in a box.
Since that first move in August 2010 I've moved 7 times. I've learned lots, and I'm thankful for every bit of the ups and downs, hard decisions, and crazy stuff I'd had to endure. The Lord truly HAS led me all the way.
I don't mean to sound so snobby, or opinionated- and I don't mean to be nasty. And perhaps I might step on some toes- but, this is my blog.... and its my personal thoughts- so I'll say it! Just like you can have your personal thoughts! So, I won't bash you, you don't bash me! Cool? Great.
And now, let me leave you with this last thought:
You were born an original. Don't die a copy.
Your Sister in Christ,