afraid to love?

I've started, and restarted this particular post.
I'm not exactly sure how to write out what all is exactly on my mind.
Once again, (it keeps on coming up), it's about Love.
Love is such an important thing- it's the answer. No matter what I do, no matter where I go.
The One who IS Love will always be there.

Yet, why am I afraid? Why am I afraid to love? So much of my life seems so surface. Very few know me any more than skin deep. And I do that on purpose. Simply because it's easier, in a way, safer.

This past week a dear friend of mine went Home to be with her Jesus. I'm thankful she's no longer in pain, but I will miss her and her challenging conversation, understanding, prayers, and inspiration. Even when she was groaning in pain her love for Jesus never wavered. Because in the same breath as her groan of pain- she would praise Him. What a testimony.

Another dear friend told me some news about her health recently. Nothing serious… but I had a moment of terror. Yes. Terror. What if she was just all the sudden- gone? I cannot imagine that, and I nearly started crying in the middle of her kitchen. Which probably wouldn't have gone over well since her family walked in the door a minute later.

 Loving someone is so dangerous. Yet such a gift. What would life be without these relationships?
Empty. I might not love and trust quickly, but when I do- it's real. I just wish I knew how to show it better. Just saying "I love you" is not enough.
Love is one of those things that is painful, yet it is a beautiful pain. That's how you know you truly love someone- when you are afraid of losing them.
It's so fragile, so temporary.
I am learning to hold what I have with an open hand, and a grateful heart.

Cherish every minute, my friends.
At the risk of sounding cliche:
Don't wait to tell someone you love them, do it now- you don't know how long you have.
 Be real, be honest, be alive, and be loving. Make every second count.
Life is too short to be or do otherwise.